The Wedding Journey
(The Wedding Wellness Philosophy)

The Wedding Journey Contrary to the current cultural focus, there is more to getting to “I do” than planning the wedding. Engagement is a unique opportunity to engage yourself in a process of self-reflection and personal growth.

Your wedding is like life. It’s about the journey, not the destination.

A Personal Journey

Your wedding is a rite of passage. Like any such major transition in your life, it will change you in some way. A rite of passage requires that you leave part of yourself behind in order to welcome a new part of yourself into your life. This can be an amazing experience if done in a conscious way. If you recognize how you are transforming and stay curious about your own process, then it enriches your life and creates a smooth transition. However, if you don't recognize and address the changes happening internally, you may misplace that attention on the external process of planning the wedding and end up feeling confused and overwhelmed.

An Emotional Journey

Your emotions are the language of your internal state. As you progress through this transformational rite of passage, you will most likely experience a wide range of emotions. This is normal, contrary to the myth that you should be a glowing bride 24/7. If you make the time and space to open yourself to your emotions, both the enjoyable ones and the difficult ones, then the result is a better understanding of yourself and a more peaceful state of mind. This is an important way of preparing yourself for the wedding. However, if you suppress your emotions, especially the “negative” ones, they will drain your energy and manifest in ugly ways. This is often why an otherwise calm and collected woman becomes a “Bridezilla.”

A Relationship Journey

You’ve decided to spend the rest of your life with one person. You can’t know what it’s really going to be like until you’re in the thick of it, but you can prepare yourself by clarifying what you’re taking with you into the marriage. By bringing your awareness to your own assumptions, expectations, needs, and desires, you can be more clear and open to sharing with your fiancé and building a lasting commitment to grow together through the years. Unfortunately, if you don't pay enough attention to your relationship during this time, a common problem results. The issues that arise during your engagement and are left unresolved can come back stronger once you're married.

A Group Journey

Even though you are the one who’s engaged, everyone else in your life, in some way, is impacted by your engagement. For them, it's not about what's happening to you but what they think is happening to you based on their own experience and what's happening to them. When they don't make room for their own emotions, loved ones often act out either by withdrawing or getting overly involved in your wedding planning. If you are able to help them acknowledge what's going on for them, just by sharing about your own process and asking about theirs, you can help alleviate tension and avoid drama. If, however, you engage with them on a behavioral level and fight about wedding planning details instead of what's underneath the disagreement, it can create frustration and a growing divide.

The Coaching Journey

All of the above journeys combine to make your wedding journey, and it can be rather demanding. By using coaching as your guide, you can keep things in perspective, stay focused on what's important, and move forward. Navigating this journey alone can be difficult. It's easy to get sucked into emotional pitfalls and logistical distractions. In coaching you will work with a neutral person who is not invested in any particular outcome other than one that serves your wellbeing. By using coaching you have an opportunity to dedicate time and energy for the sole purpose of taking care of yourself. There is no better time to do it. Honor yourself and your personal process, and make your wedding a strong foundation for your marriage.